Simon the Star

Simon the Star Routine by Phil Tilston

Dear Jeremy,
 
I was recently doing a gig where I had adults and children sitting around large tables, so I wanted a presentation for Simon the Star that would entertain both. I apologise for the 'groaning' nature of the jokes. The routine seemed to go down well.     Phil.

Do you know about the stars? In the sky there are lots of stars. They don’t just stay there though. Look, I have some here [show silk].

The sun is a star. You know I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went to at night. Then it dawned on me!

This circle here is called a blue hole. Scientists here know about things called black holes in space. The only place I have seen black holes is in my black socks. But this here is a blue hole. Scientists don’t know about blue holes. Only stars know about blue holes. They use them to travel around - particularly when they want a rest or want to go on holiday.

Here is a friend of mine - Simon. He has been working very hard recently and has decided to go on holiday. You know where he works – COMET.  In fact he was ill recently – he was BURNING UP. Do you know where he has decided to go? He has decided to go the NOVAtel – it is a hotel on the moon.  Look, if I put him in the blue hole, he’s gone [show silk empty] to the Novatel.

He didn’t like it there though. He said the food was good, but the restaurant had NO ATMOSPHERE. [Bring Simon out of the silk]. And you thought I was going to be SIRIUS!

Simon still has some holiday left. He has decided to go to STARBUCKS [disappear the silk in the blue hole again].

You know I thought getting a job in time travel like Dr Who. I decided there was no future in it.

Do you know where Simon went after he had his coffee? Somewhere nice and dark for a sleep. In fact inside that envelope. Look, there he is. Not only that, he is with some of his friends from the MILKY WAY.